The Last Single Girl ☺

I'm sick for almost over a week now(Meaning I've been stuck in our house drinking tons of meds 3 times a day) that's why I don't have anything interesting to post about until I thought that this is the perfect time to post this one. A write up I've been eyeing to post here for months now but the timing is just not perfect until now. ☺ A few weeks ago, I emailed Isa Garcia,(Check her blog out!) my favorite blogger/writer to ask her permission if I can post her The Last Single Girl post here and she luckily allowed me to. ☺ I don't post anything about relationships or love here in my blog so this is its debut. Though I hope next time, it'll be my very own words. Hopefully soon I can be ready to share that part of myself in this site of mine. But for the mean time, here's Isa Garcia's The Last Single Girl.. ☺ 

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The Last Single Girl.

That’s what Carrie Bradshaw called her article for VOGUE magazine. It’s a tribute to her much-celebrated love life: the long-winding road she traveled (in her signature Manolo Blahniks) until she FINALLY got The Proposal from Mr. Big, her on-and-off ten-decade love affair.

And everything in the movie is hinged on the happiness brought by the sought-after ring on her finger (not entirely unlike LoTR)  – until Big, in typical Big fashion, screws her over.That’s when it gets interesting.

But, anyway.

I LOVE that title. The Last Single Girl. Mostly because I feel that it suits me pretty well these days. I’m at an in-between age. Old enough to be in a relationship; too young to be married. But, still. Old enough for my singlehood to be questioned, old enough to be told that I have a biological clock that’s ticking, old enough to get sympathy stares from nice old ladies.

Those sympathy stares are the worst.

Their eyes soften at the corners and they manipulate their mouths into these tiny awkward smiles and say things like: “I’m sure it’ll happen soon.” or “Be patient, I’m sure he’s out there.”

And because of their seniority, I’m forced to smile and agree than say what I really want to which is: “Well, wherever he is, you can tell him to SUCK IT.”

Just kidding. 

I think what’s most mortifying is when people ask me why I’m single. Because I know it’ll just break their hearts (and force an entire barrage of sympathy stares) if I tell them the truth:

Oh, well, because, uh… no one’s really asking me out.

It’s acceptable for a single girl to be single as long as she’s got suitors. That makes her single by choice which is, let’s face it, a lot less sad. But when she’s single because no one really wants to be with her? Single by default? Well then that’s just… depressing.

A couple of years back, at a high school reunion, a certain boy I used to like saw me and as a form of greeting, yelled: “Don’t tell me you’re still single!”

That statement is both: a) socially inappropriate and b) WEIRD. I mean, seriously. Who says that?!

Plus, there is no proper reply to that other than: ksjglksghnnnngggg. Which is exactlywhat I said. Very classy.

This is not a diatribe against men or against singlehood. Besides the fact that there are no guys lining up to date the wonder that is ME, I have a few other legitimate reasons for flying solo. But I’d rather keep them to myself.

There is this girl that I met (under the strangest of circumstances) whom I have dinner with every once in awhile. One time, while talking about being single in a city where all the eligible guys seem to be in hiding, she looked at me and said: “Well. You’re not putting yourself out there.”

And I had to stifle my first instinct which was to strangle her while screaming HOW DARE YOU SAY I’M NOT TRYING! in true telenovela fashion, but she was, in fact, absolutely right.

I don’t go to parties, don’t accept blind dates, don’t find ways to creatively give a guy my number. Which leads to one seemingly blasphemous conclusion: I like being single.

And for some reason, this comes off to some as downright offensive.

“So you don’t ever want to get married?” people ask aghast. Which is funny because if you know me well enough, you’ll know that I totally want to get married. I’m a very big fan of the institution. I just don’t want to settle for half-decent in order to get there.

I realize that if I really wanted a boyfriend, like if I was so incredibly desperate for affection/attention, I could get one. It isn’t difficult. YEAH I SAID IT. You just have to know where and how to flirt your way, promise sex and/or something just as exciting and be willing to take whatever you can get. I’ll say it again: getting a boyfriend isn’t difficult. Because if all you’re looking for is company, then I’m sure a lot of people would gladly oblige.

In the nooks and crannies of the internet, in bars and random places, there are a lot of lonely people.

But I don’t want that. And that is very difficult to explain.

I don’t mind eating alone, shopping alone, driving alone, traveling alone — I am perfectly fine with my own company and in true Penelope fashion:

I like myself the way I am.

And I just don’t feel like I have to be somebody else in order to have someone in my life. I don’t feel like I have to compromise my standards for the sake of a stupid status change.

But people don’t get that. Because single is a stigma — a disease — in a society that appropriates happiness with having a relationship with someone other than yourself.

And it’s not that I don’t want a relationship, it’s just that I refuse to beg for something that should be freely and willingly given and I refuse to settle for anything less than something real. Something with chemistry and compatibility and attraction and, yes, actualcommitted love.

And even though everyone says I’m going to be waiting for, um, a really long time, I’m not backing down. One of my favorite people in the world said, in an attempt to convince me that I am not at all crazy: there’s no such thing as a tall order. Great things still happen and they do not come easy.

That being said: I’m fine right where I am with who I’m with: me.

And I’d rather be the last single girl at that table for one, getting those sympathy stares from passersby, than a girl who gets gushed at by her friends, who stays with a guy she absolutely cannot stand just because she’s scared.

I have realized (and am grateful) that there is nothing about me that attaches my worth, my sense of self, to having a boyfriend.

What I’m trying to say is: I’m the Last Single Girl because I’m a 10 who doesn’t want to dumb herself down for a 7.

And so The Last Single Girl walks on with her books and her cake, in a cafe alone, in a nice city, with an open heart, perfectly happy to just be.

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Words of Wisdom from Rob Bell:

You are worth dying for.

Your worth does not come from your body, your mind, your work, what you produce, what you put out, how much money you make.  Your worth does not come from whether or not you have a man.  Your worth does not come from whether or not men notice you.  You have inestimableworth that comes from your creator.

You will continue to be tempted in a thousand different ways not to believe this.  The temptation will be to go searching for your worth and validity from places other than your creator.

Especially from men.

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I hope you like it because personally I really love it! I've read it the moment she posted it last October 2010 and since then I have never forgotten about it. And I thought of sharing it with you guys because I'm also the last single girl and I'm not ashamed of it as well. But don't get me wrong because I'm actually dying to meet THE one and share tons of things with him but until then I'm gonna be happy and contented being single except for Valentine's day. :p

"I'm the Last Single Girl because I'm a 10 who doesn't want to dumb herself down for a 7."

'Til next time! ☺

Love,

A ♥